Healthy Status Always » Caring for the Elderly

Easing Into Care Giving

hosnee — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 10:18:36 +0000

There is one axiom that if your parents don’t pass away young in life, you are going to watch them age. Now for the most part, this is a natural and nice part of life because mom and dad can slowly become grandma and grandpa which are nice roles for them after working so hard to raise you.

But a corollary to that axiom is that if mom and dad are going to age, at some point you are going to begin helping them with the daily affairs of life. And that occasional helping will escalate as their needs grow strong until you will become a full-fledged caregiver for an elderly person.

For many, the time when you suddenly become a caregiver is just that – sudden. It happens often after the death of a parent and the widowed parent suddenly becomes needy because of the loss they are experiencing. For married couples who have been together for decades, that loss is equivalent to the loss of a limb and far more devastating so that may be the time when you suddenly go from having few concerns for your aging parent to having many.

It might be strange to look at it this way, but the more you can ease into care giving, the more time you have to get used to it, for your elderly parent or parents to get used and for your family, forefends and coworkers to get used to it. And if you can step in and make some minor changes to the environment of your aging parent, you may be able to delay the time when they become very dependent on you.

If your parent or parents are still living in their own home, there are things you can do to make their living space more accessible and safe including…

. Create a lifestyle that is all on one level. Stairs can become a hazard for an elderly person. So early in your plans to adapt their living space, move them into a ground floor bedroom and put all significant rooms, including the kitchen, the pantry, the laundry room and the living room are on the same level.

. Take some of the work out of daily chores. Most local grocery stores will deliver food to the elderly so you can make those arrangements for your aging parent. You can also find services that work by the hour that come in and clean the house, do simple repairs and chores and take care of the business of home ownership for your parents.

. You can make arrangements with home health care professionals to drop by for an hour or two a week just to make sure your parents medications are still safe to use, that all prescriptions have been filled and that your parent understands their medications and when and how to take them.

. Reorganize the kitchen so things your parent will use every day are on an eye level shelf and are easy to get to and to put away after washing. Make sure the toaster oven, microwave and other important appliances are also easy to get to and that your parent is comfortable with these units if the models that may have come with the assisted living center are not familiar to them.

. Go through the house and make it easy for your parent to use. You can put in those walking and grab bars along the halls and in the bathtub and other places where your mom or dad might need the additional support. You can check the lights so there are plenty of visibility for what your parents have to do.

To really take the preparation of your parent’s living space for their ease of use and safety, look at pulling emergency pull ropes in every room. These units are used extensively in assisted care units and they make it possible for your parent to pull that cord if she is in trouble and set off an alarm or call to you or to emergency care, should there be a sudden medical need.

By working to make your parent’s work area easy to use and safe, you can do a lot to put off the time when your mom or dad may have to move to a retirement village or nursing home. And you keep them independent which allows you to slowly ease into care giving which is much easier on everybody.

The Best Five Ways To Maintain Mental Health Whilst Caring For The Elderly

hosnee — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:31:36 +0000

Caring for the elderly can make for a very rewarding job, whether it is paid employment in a nursing or retirement home or for an elderly relative who can no longer look after his or herself. However, it can also be a mentally challenging role that you find exhausting to the point of despair. It takes someone special with infinite patience and caring. This is negotiable if it is a family member. If it is someone else’s relative then it is harder to develop those qualities than if it is your own flesh and blood. Regardless of who you are caring for though, it is absolutely necessary to do all you can to preserve your own mental health and that of your patient. There are ways and means of achieving this, and below are listed just five of the most popular ones for you to try:

1. Take regular breaks – Taking a break from the elderly person or people that you are caring for can give you chance to relax away from the stress that the job inevitably puts on you. This could be a five-minute break whilst you are working or a day off doing something that you love. Taking a breather will not only benefit you but also the person that you are caring for. It will allow you both to gather your thoughts without causing resentment on either side. It may just be the time away you need to readjust your focus and gather your thoughts, as well as reminding yourself why you are doing that particular job! As long as you gain that perspective, you will be able to go back to caring as good as new within a short period of time.

2. Take part in activities that you both enjoy – These are commonly referred to as bonding activities because they capitalize on the common interests you share and build a strong foundation for you to coexist on. If you are looking after a stranger then this is essential in getting to know them properly. If you are looking after a family member then you are likely to give him or her joy just by spending that relaxing time there.

3. Come to an arrangement that suits you both – It is unlikely that the elderly person you are caring for wants you in their home every hours of every day. Some will want you at their beck and call, but the majority like their own space and will only enjoy spending time with you up to a point. Independence is very important to the majority of elderly people, especially when they may feel that it is being taken away from them. Always respect their wishes by coming to some arrangement as to when you will drop by and what you will be doing together on a particular day. Of course, this doesn’t apply to those caring for he elderly in retirement homes.

4. Establish a routine – Establishing a routine will help you both to understand exactly where you are with each other. Some elderly people like a routine because it helps them to anticipate your activities. Breaking from that routine may unsettle them and provoke negative feelings towards you and your role. Seniors also have a habit of loathing anything new and a routine is reassuring to them because it ensures that nothing new will be introduced without their consent. A routine will help you to move through the motions when necessary but will also establish a role that you are both happy with, thus heading off any difficulties before they begin.

5. Seek professional help – If you find that caring for the elderly is getting too much for you and you are becoming depressed as a result then speak to a professional counsellor who can help you to talk through your feelings. Unloading them will lift the weight off your shoulders once in a while and help to enable you to continue your role as a caregiver.

None of these tips are guaranteed to work for you because they all depend on individual circumstances. You have to find out what works for you.

Giving Thanks For Being A Caregiver

hosnee — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:23:36 +0000

Much of the adjustment that goes into being a caregiver for your aging parent goes into dealing with the stress and the emotional drain that role can bring. In addition to the issues of how to care for her in the best possible way, there are the emotions of anger when programs don’t work right or when the facility she is in has problems. There is resentment at other siblings or even at your aging parent because of the demands this job has on you personally.

There are other adjustments that are a huge drain on you emotionally. Balancing work, home and private life with the demands on your time being a caregiver requires is a juggling act that will involve as many “dropped balls” as successes before you ever get it right. And about the time you do get a good balance, the demands of your elderly parent might change and you are again pulled back into that stressful situation.

So you have to think about ways you can offset the demands on you and try to take some time for you and for your family. These are all difficult emotions which may be why it takes a real adult to be a caregiver for an elderly person. But there is one emotion you may wish to foster and dwell on as much as you can to offset the worry, the anxiety, the anger and the resentment. That is the emotion of thankfulness.

Now it may seem impossible to even ponder how thankfulness could become part of your emotional reaction to this demanding situation you find yourself in. But if you can find ways to be thankful that you are the caregiver for your parent, that positive emotion can do wonders to drive out those negative emotions in your heart. And when you think about it, there are quite a few great things you can be thankful for BECAUSE you are the primary caregiver for your aging parent. Some of those are…

. You are able to give back a bit of the sacrifices they made to raise you. The amount of time and money and emotional effort your parents used up on you as a child is something that can never be repaid. But you are giving a little bit back in caring for them when they are old to say, “Thank you for raising me and never giving up on me. And now I am not going to give up on you.”

. There would be anxiety if you were not here. If you were far away in another state, you would be a basket case if you didn’t know your mom or dad’s medical condition. So by being close, you can get the facts quickly and get them right which cuts down on all of those “what if” bad dreams about your mom and dad.

. You always know what’s going on. There are a lot of “false alarms” with an elderly person. The need someone that can say, “It’s all right. It’s under control” to them. That someone is you.

. You are needed and you are important to your elderly mom or dad. If ever there was a time when you felt needed not just every so often but every day and every hour of the day it is when you are there to help your parents through this tough time of their lives.

. Celebrate those little times of laughter and joy. Celebrate when you enjoy a movie together or laugh at those “insider” family jokes that always bring a smile. Those times will be precious to you when your parent go on to their reward some day.

There is something deep inside us that feels a sense of completion when we are able to stay with someone we love through a very tough time. Your love for your parent and between you and her will deepen and grow stronger in a way that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

And even after your parent goes on to their eternal reward, you will be able to look back on those months when you gave all you could to make those final months of her life happy and peaceful and you will be able to say, “I did the right thing.” And that is one feeling that is irreplaceable and something you will be able to be thankful forever.

Effective Caring For Your Elderly Relatives Home Help

hosnee — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:00:36 +0000

Caring for an elderly relative can be an extremely stressful process. If you choose to go into care and deal with the elderly and infirm then you can maintain an air of detachment. However, if you look after a relative, it is impossible to detach yourself from your family role as well as providing effective care. As a result, you will have to deal with all of the emotions that go with caring for a disabled or ill relative. As it is so hard to detach, you may well decide that you need help caring for him or her in order to escape from some of the stress and pressure. There are plenty of options as far as this is concerned owing to a service commonly known as home help. It may be labelled differently in your area but this name sums up just what it is.

Home help is a service that provides an experienced and qualified carer who will come into your home or your relative’s home as often as you wish to provide various aspects of care, such as bathing, feeding and dressing. This can be useful in that you could escape the elements of personal hygiene that are necessary. Many individuals cannot cope with the thought of undressing and washing their own flesh and blood, and understandably so. Again, it all goes back to that air of detachment that has previously been mentioned. It may well be easier to have someone to come in to administer that side of things every day whilst you take care of feeding and chores around the home.

As home help carers administer such care for a living, they are schooled in the necessary privacy rules of their trade and can be counted upon to be honest and trustworthy. They all have to pass certain qualifications in order to be able to do their job and thus know what they are doing, although it may be hard not to interfere and make suggestions. Some people therefore choose to meet a home help carer once and then leave them to do their job.

Most home help carers go into a home at least once a day, usually to get the individual out of bed, bathe and dress him or her, but you can choose to have home help as often as you want. Two or three times a day is the usual level, and this is especially popular amongst those caring for elderly relatives and also have a full time job to earn a living. However, the amount of times that you choose to have a carer in largely depends on what you can afford. The best services can be quite expensive, although there are usually several within one area to choose from. As a result, you can interview until you finally find a service that you are happy with and would trust with your relative.

You can search for home help services on the Internet or in the local service directories. There are minimum standards that each service has to comply with so always be wary of services that do not boast of their credentials. Check out testimonials and ask around for recommendations. You may also want to take your elderly relative’s opinion into considerations. After all, it is your relative that will have the most contact with the home help. If they like the person that they have to help them, then you will find that you have less problems than if you were to select an individual on your own.

Caring For The Elderly Working With Their Money

hosnee — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:50:36 +0000

If you are the primary caregiver for an elderly relative, you will soon come to realise that your responsibility is not limited to their personal health. You will discover within a matter of weeks that you will ultimately be expected to take care of their lives in general, which includes everything from regular outings to their finances. The latter will usually be one of your more pressing concerns, whether you feel comfortable with the idea of being responsible for another’s money or not. In an ideal world there will be very little to this and you will not need to spend much time on it because of wealth that your senior relative has accumulated over the years. However, in reality it rarely plays out that way. You will effectively have to budget for them over the course of the time that they are in your charge. The tips below will make that process easier for you.

Before you can even begin to start budgeting for your elderly relative, you need to work out exactly where they stand with their finances. You can do this by getting organized and drawing up an effective set of accounts that you can work with on a weekly basis. These accounts do not have to be professional by any means, as long as you can fully understand and follow them. You should look at all of the household bills and payments towards outstanding debts as well as any other outgoings over the twelve months before you actually too over that particular set of finances.

Taking income from pensions and other sources into account, you should take the previous years’ outgoings as a good indicator of what you can expect to pay out in the coming year as well as the amount of expendable wealth that you will be left with for general provisions. Income is a vital key to your ability to budget. You must research the source of this money to ensure that bank credits will remain at the same amount. If you fail to do this, you could possibly find yourself in a financial mess on behalf of your elderly relative and that would certainly throw a spanner in the works as far as your budgeting is concerned. However, if you do complete the necessary research then you can then begin budgeting from there.

It may also be worth setting aside some money every month to put into a rainy day savings fund on behalf of the elderly relative under your care. None of us know what the future holds for us, and in some ways we should be thankful for it. However, if your relative does need specialist care or treatment and has to pay for it, then you may find yourself in an impossible situation. Seniors often have to sell their homes in order to get the medical care that they need, whether that is in the form of home help or medication, so it is best to avoid this by preparing them financially for every eventuality.

Budgeting on behalf of an elderly relative under your care may indeed prove to be a pain, especially if you are striving to fulfil all of their other needs at the same time. However, it is very necessary to give them a helping hand in this department because they may otherwise find that they have no heating, water or even roof over their head. Utility companies are notoriously unsympathetic if bills do not get paid and thus it may prove extremely prudent to begin budgeting from the very first day that you accept the role as primary caregiver. It will certainly pay dividends in the long term.

A Beginner’s Guide To Retirement Homes

hosnee — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 04:02:36 +0000

There may come a time in every caregiver’s life that you have to make a decision. If you are caring for a relative then you may well have to decide whether to register him or her with a retirement home with a view to procuring a room. If you have been caring for that relative at home for some time then it will be even more of a wrench to make that decision. You may well be unable to cope with the stresses and strains of it now, or the condition that your elderly relative may have worsened to the point that it is now impossible for the relative to remain at home. Either way, it is a difficult decision to make and you should do all of the necessary research to convince you that you are making the right decision. This article will provide you with a brief overview to help you make that decision.

There are various types of retirement home that are designed to cater for seniors in a variety of ways. General retirement homes can be split into two categories – residential and nursing. Nursing homes are designed for individuals that require better medical care. These are often the best choice for those suffering with the after effects of strokes and cancer, as well as catering for those with advanced forms of dementia. Residential homes are better for those who have milder forms of dementia and slight physical disabilities because they do not provide nursing care but do attempt to provide residents with a greater freedom. There are also specialist retirement homes that cater for specific illnesses if you are indeed looking for specialist care.

It can be difficult to choose a home for your loved one because of the sheer choice of retirement homes out there. Most are privately funded and have state of the art facilities so they are fully equipped to take care of any physical or medical complaints that they may have. As a result, it is hard to distinguish between them on paper alone and so visiting your short-listed homes may be a great idea, especially if you take your senior relative with you. You will able to choose between them if you sample the atmosphere and facilities yourself, and of course the reaction of your loved one may also play a big part in your decision. It is likely that they will initially appear happier during a visit to one than they are when visiting the others.

Before finalizing your decision, even if you do have one place in mind, you should always do your homework. You should look into the background of the home, how it is run and its health and safety credentials as well as asking around for feedback. Going into any situation blind is taking a huge risk, but would you really want your loved one to stay at a place that may flaunt health and safety provisions and could ultimately be damaging to their health?

Whatever you decide to do in the end, retirement homes can provide a safe and secure environment that will allow your loved one to live out his or her last days in peace with the best medical care available. It will also provide you with peace of mind. It can be a hard decision to make the first break but you have to ultimately do what is best for your loved one. If you can no longer cope as the primary carer then you should think of your health as well as considering what may be best for both of you in the long run.

Listening To Your Parents Even Now

hosnee — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:54:36 +0000

Have you ever had that aggravation that you go over to your aging parents apartment or house to help with the housework and get some serious “care giving” done and the senior himself seems to be bent on stopping your progress? You no doubt came over with a list as long as your arm of things to do at the apartment to help your parent live a clean and healthier life by getting the place into shape.

You know that part of your job as caregiver is to take care of chores and do the things your aging parent cannot do any more or just doesn’t do because of fatigue or general lack of attention to detail. So when your parent wants you to forget all that work and just sit and talk, what is aggravating to you may be very important to your parent, maybe even more important than the apartment getting cleaned up.

It’s good for you to think about your role as caregiver because you really are not just called to be a maid, chauffeur and cook. Anybody could do those things. The reason you are perfect for the care giving role is you are close to the heart of your aging parent and you are the one that will understand when she talks about things she is thinking or feeling that day.

So don’t downplay the value of just being a companion to your parent during your visits. The emotional and family support you provide to your parent is central to his self esteem and feeling of who he is in the world. He will be storing up dozens of little anecdotes and stories to share with you when you come over. So in order to let him get all of that sharing “out of his system”, its important for you to be a good listener.

A good listener doesn’t just let the other person talk and say “uh huh” every so often. If you are just tolerating your parent as she shares little things with you, that will become apparent and be worse than if you didn’t talk to her at all. The best way to fit your fellowship and relationship time around work time is to start out each visit with some time together just to talk.

Perhaps you might make it a habit that every time to come over, you and your parent will sit down and just talk about a half hour over coffee, a snack or tea. That is when you can focus all of your attention on what mom or dad have to say. Listen with focus and attention so when something is funny, you laugh and you can ask questions and explore the concept or situation being discussed in some depth.

Then at an appropriate time, you can say, “Gee Mom, I would like to tidy up those dishes. Can you sit at the table and we can keep talking while I do that?” That is a nice easy transition to starting your work and keeping the lines of communication open. And you can continue to let your mom or dad “follow you around” as you do chores chattering away the whole time.

Don’t censor the topics or insist that what you talk about are only the important things. You should know from talking to your kids that you have to be ready to talk about the trivial things in their lives to prime the pump of communication about the hard issues and ones that will take some mature understanding to deal with. So be patient and open with your aging mom and dad and once they know you have good listening ears, they will open up about important things going on in their lives. And that is when your listening skills will really pay off.

Caring For The Caregiver

hosnee — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:10:36 +0000

The relationship between an elderly person and his or her caregiver is complex and intense sometimes. But that relationship does not exist in a vacuum. There are a lot of people affected by what is going on when that caregiver goes to that senior citizens apartment and give to him or her that one on one attention that is so necessary.

For one thing, the caregiver’s friends, family and coworkers are affected. Becoming the primary person responsible for the care and well being of a senior citizen is a peculiar job because it is tremendously demanding and completely unpaid. Caregivers are for the most part children or close relatives of the senior citizen being cared for and they have jobs, families and a full life outside of the time they put in taking care of their parent or parents.

So when that responsibility falls to you, those around you also have to give a little to help you accomplish that goal. But for those who are related to a caregiver, there is a demand on you as well. If mom has to go over to Grandpa’s apartment every night for two or three hours, that means mom isn’t home helping you with your homework, making supper or just being available if her little girl needs someone to talk to.

If dad is gone thirty or forty hours a week taking care of Grandpa, that is time he is not home providing guidance for his kids, fixing the garbage disposal or making those corny but fun jokes the kids groan about but love. Similarly, the friends and working world of a caregiver are also asked to give up a little or a lot of the mind, the emotions and the time of that caregiver so he or she can go and care for that elderly parent and divert that energy and time in that direction.

For those of us who have a caregiver in our family or part of our social or work circle, in addition to the sacrifices, you can become concerned for your friend or loved one because of the demands of caring for a senior citizen. It’s a job that is taxing to even the strongest adult and one that take a lot out of your friend or family member. Caregiver burn out is a common syndrome and it doesn’t just affect the caregiver. If your parent, spouse, coworker or friend undergoes a break down from the stress of caring for her mom or dad, that will have an impact on everyone.

So there is a compelling need for all of us associated with a caregiver to learn to care for that caregiver to help her and support her in what she is doing. Some specific things you can do are…

* Let them know you believe in what they are doing. Caregivers often feel very alone and guilty that they are not attending to family and other relationships. By letting her know you are 100% behind what she is doing and that you are doing fine, that guilt is removed which makes her know she can make it.

* Let her know she is missed.

* Pick up the slack. Each evening if dad and the kids can pick up the house, then mom can get some sleep and know that you are taking care of business at home so she doesn’t have to worry about it.

* Let mom sleep in. Maybe even bring her breakfast in bed every so often.

* Pitch in. Go over and help grandma out yourself so it’s not all on mom.

* An unexpected surprise. Every so often do something to surprise and totally delight mom and give her a fun break from her worries of care giving. A movie out or a limo ride around town can go a long way for a weary caregiver.

If the spouse, the children and friends and associates of the coworker can keep and eye on her to look out for those signs of burn out, it may be our responsibility to jump in and give her some support before everything falls apart. By caring for the caregiver, she is better able to give attention to that senior citizen she is caring for. So in a way we are all becoming part of the effort to give the caregiver’s mom or dad the best care possible. And that is what community is all about.

Develop Your Skills To Care For The Elderly Wound Care

hosnee — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:16:36 +0000

If you care for an elderly member of your family, you will fully understand that maintaining his or her health is extremely hard work and you will often feel like you are fighting an uphill battle that you have absolutely no chance of winning! It takes dedication and sheer hard work to gain the advantage sometimes and even then something will inevitably crop up to send you back to stage one again. Seniors are like children in many ways as a result. They are frequently getting into situations that see them come away with some sort of minor injury. This applies to every senior with a mental or physical disability. One of the main reasons behind it is that elderly people who need constant care lose sight of their own mortality and do not have realistic attitudes towards what they can do. It is essential, therefore, that any caregiver has a basic knowledge of wound care.

Cuts and scrapes are perhaps the most common results of accidents amongst the elderly in care. They can be pretty innocuous and barely penetrate the consciousness of the elderly on the receiving end. However, all cuts and scrapes can easily become effective if they are not treated as soon as they occur. All wounds should be cleaned, disinfected and dressed as soon as they happen. It is no good leaving them until a few hours or days later because the damage can already be done by then. I know that this sounds pretty serious, but also ridiculous at the same time. After all, we are just talking about cuts, grazes and scrapes. However, it is often the small things that are overlooked and come back to haunt you. It is therefore important to remember that any physical injury that a senior sustains can become serious if given the opportunity. As a result, caregivers must be extremely vigilant and administer first aid and general care as and when required.

Any caregiver should attend a basic first aid course very early on in their role. Community colleges often provide basic first aid courses that cover all of the information that you need to know about administering it at a moment’s notice in any situation. Some of the content of these courses is common sense, but if an instructor stresses it to you, you are more likely to remember it when you are called upon. It never hurts to refresh information that you have learnt previously either. Even if you have been on a course in the last couple of years, you should look into taking another one that is more specific for your new role. Any course will include wound care as a basic requirement.

Another important element of wound care is ensuring that the elderly individual in your care is completely up to date with any necessary shots. Tetanus is especially important because it is perhaps the easiest serious infection to contract. The bug only needs a small open wound to spread through the body via the bloodstream. This fact also serves to reinforce the point that infection control through wound care cannot be underestimated and dismissed as an unimportant concern.

Wound care is easy enough to learn for any caregiver and there is very little practice required in order for you to get it right. It therefore demands little of you time by can pay dividends when you look at how devastating any number of infections and bugs can be.

Is Mom A Sucker

hosnee — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:27:36 +0000

Sometimes a caregiver is a combination of maid, doctor, spiritual advisor and amateur detective. It’s no secret that elderly people sometimes become more like teenagers and children then mature adults. So, while we wish they wouldn’t do it, your senior citizen mom or dad may be hiding a few things from you.

And one thing parents are fiercely independent about is their finances and how they use their money. But being independent doesn’t translate into being wise in how your retired parents use their money. And its one of your jobs as caregiver to look after your parents well being which means watching where their money goes so their limited financial resources can last a long time.

There are plenty of horror stories about senior citizens becoming victims of scams and clever sales people who sell them a hope and a dream in exchange for their very real money. We shouldn’t be too surprised that slick talking sales people will call or email our parents. After all, they try to get by you so why should your parents be immune to it? But the thing you don’t know is if or when your aging parents become a victim of a scam and get ripped off.

One thing is for sure is that your senior citizen parents are not gong to tell you they got ripped off. So you have to become that amateur detective to find out if mom is a sucker for a slick salesman and if you need to step in and start getting these shysters out of your parent’s lives. Some signs that your parent has become a sucker are…

. Watch your parent’s mail. If mom is getting an unusually large amount of junk mail and a lot of get rich quick schemes, phony contests or other scams, it’s possible your parent has become a victim of a scam or two.

. Spend a little more time at your parent’s house or apartment and answer the phone for her. If there are more sales calls for scam offers or charities, then your parent may have already fallen pray to these kinds of calls and their name got passed around to other scam artists.

. Are there a lot of junk items lying around mom’s house that look like the crap that are used for “amazing gifts” or junk products?

. Start paying attention to your parent’s budget. For one thing, if mom doesn’t want you poking around her checkbook, there may be some problems going on with her account. But if you see a lot of checks to scam artists, you know mom has become a sucker. Watch her credit card statements as well for similar activity.

. Watch her email and look particularly at her “sent items” folder. There you can see if she responded to any scam email schemes.

Its going to take some gentle convincing to get mom to let you see some of these documents and you can expect her to be defensive about her activities. Getting involved with scams, bogus contests and get rich quick schemes has an addictive quality to it and even though mom may have already been suckered out of hundreds of dollars, she still will fall for the next crook that comes along because of the addiction. So as you would with any addict, be loving and gentle in how you approach the problem but do not neglect the problem either.

The key to selling your aging parent on letting you take over her checkbook is convenience. You might start by taking over her taxes. Then once she feels comfortable with you being that close to her books, you can offer to take over bill paying and balancing the checkbook. Then you can gently begin to question expenditures that are questionable.

Don’t try to get her money back from crooks that have already victimized your aging parent. But you can begin making it very difficult for people to get money out of her account. Right away, cancel all direct debits that are not easily identifiable. Also, start getting control over the flow of junk mail, phone calls and emails. By making access to your parents accounts and to her to try to victimize her again, you can be both the detective and now the guard dog to keep bad people from getting to your parent’s much needed money.